maybe I'm the one. [joining/rostyn]

[belladonna]

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[atrb=background,http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/1117/belletablemid.png] text - "talking" - thinking This was not her home, but whenever the small female tried to remember how to get back, she couldn’t. It wasn’t as if the memory wasn’t there; she knew it was, it had just gotten lost somehow. Her ears twitched atop her head as she tried to get a feeling of her surroundings, and she paced back and forth restlessly when she realized she had no idea where she was, yet again. There were flowers here, lots of flowers, and she could smell them very clearly. She could also pick up the faint scent of other wolves, which made her heart race. “Silly girl, getting lost in the woods. But where did all the trees go?” Her voice sounded vaguely amused, as if she were talking to a pup who had strayed. That, however, did not completely cover the frustration she clearly felt that she, yet again, had no idea how she had gotten where she was. As she looked around, however, the light female couldn’t help but smile. The flowers were very pretty; they were all sorts of different colors, too! It didn’t take very long before the young creature was wandering around, sniffing at the flowers. Her tail even started wagging happily; it was as if she had forgotten all about how worried she was moments ago. “You’re very lovely, you know. Has anyone ever told you that? I’m not lovely; I’m stupid. Stupid female, always getting lost, bad female for wandering off. Bad girl, seeing things that aren’t there, bad girl for talking to herself…” She was upset, but it was as if she had had this conversation before; she had, in fact, many times. There were different settings, different introductions, but the ending was always the same; she was at fault, she had been wrong. She was bad and terrible and defective and that broke her heart. Tears trickled along her cheeks as Belle looked around, feeling every bit as lost as she had when she first woke to find her family missing. “Mamma! Mamma, where are you!” she screamed, desperate. She was panicked and it showed; her tail was pressed firmly to her belly and her ears were straight up, straining for any sign of her family. “Mamma!” It was a cry for help as much as it was a desperate grasp at what was familiar, but she didn’t get the response she wanted so badly. She never did. The small femme lay down in a particularly lovely patch of blooms, her predominantly white coat standing out amid the sea of color. She lay her head down and covered her ears, trying to block out the unfamiliar landscape. A butterfly landed on her nose and she yelped, jumping up. Her small frame shook with fright as she looked around, terrified. After she realized what it was, she calmed slightly, but the fear with which she looked around the valley was a clear sign of how on-edge she felt. to;; Rostyn muse;; Eh, could be better. thoughts;; This still feels incomplete, so I may come back and add more later if I have time. words;; 490

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/25zkpwm.png] words • "talking" • thinking It was spring. New buds had been appearing on the trees, flowers were blooming, and birds filled the air with song. Spring was, by far, Rostyn’s favorite season, largely because of the flowers. They were beautiful. They came in so many colors, such as red, pink, yellow, white, and purple. It was like a rainbow. Hillsides and valleys were dotted with the colorful plants. Sometimes they were even entirely painted. The flowers, coupled with the warmer weather, the sunshine (at least for the day, since it did tend to rain quite a bit), and the music from the birds, Rostyn couldn’t help but be in a good mood. His favorite place during this season was the great valley that resided within his territory. Called Two-Medicine valley, it was home to healing flowers, as well as to flowers of every color. They painted the valley during the spring. It was the pride and joy of Nyack pack, and Rostyn had developed a deep appreciation for it during his time as alpha. So today, when the sun was out and the flowers were in full bloom, he had chosen to visit the valley. It took him a little while to get there from his forest den, but it was well worth the journey. As he topped the rise that would let him see the entire valley in its entire splendor his mind was at ease and he was as relaxed as could be. As Rostyn looked down upon the flowery landscape, he did not notice the small white shape that was tucked in among the flowers. It took him a while to notice it. At first he thought it was just a group of flowers, but at a closer glance he realized that it was not the right shape to be a group of flowers. When he did come to that realization, he pricked his ears forward and focused on the small shape. After a few moments of watching, he realized that it was moving. With that, curiosity got the best of him and he began to descend into the valley. It was a quick descent. Though he had been on a point that had allowed him to look over the entire valley, it was an easy walk to the valley floor. He walked straight towards the white shape in the flowers. At times it disappeared among the flowers, completely obliterated by the sea of color in front of his face. It was a struggle to keep it visible, but his effort paid off. In time, he came to realize that the shape was that of a wolf. He picked up the pace, wondering what a stranger was doing on his lands. As he came closer, however, he realized that the wolf was nervous, or so it seemed. He slowed his pace until he came to s a stop. He could just see her beyond the sea of flowers. He kept his head and tail low in an nonthreatening posture, then opened his jaw and let out a soft bark to let her know that he was there. Immediately afterward, he began to wag his tail, hoping to appear friendly to the on-edge wolf ahead of him. He wanted to speak to the stranger, and it was all he could do to hold back and wait for a response. word count;; 557 starring;; rostyn for;; bella muse;; not bad comments; merry christmas xD

[belladonna]

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[atrb=background,http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/1117/belletablemid.png] text - "talking" - thinking Belle had only just started calming down a bit when there was a bark somewhere behind her and she tried turning around so fast that she had to sit down to avoid falling over. Her heart pounded hard in her chest and her ears rang slightly as blood rushed through them, but she stared at the wolf who was now in front of her with an ever-growing sense of panic. Should she run? “I-I don’t know. He hasn’t eaten her yet, but he might... he could want to hurt her, maybe use her for pups? She doesn’t want pups; she isn’t ready for pups. She is a pup...” her voice trailed off as she pondered that for a moment, clearly oblivious to the fact that she was voicing her internal monologue – something the young female actually did quite often. After a moment, she furrowed her brow and looked at the male, “Are you going to hurt her?” She went quiet after that, trying to study him. That only lasted another few moments before she went back to looking at the flowers, her gaze falling on the butterfly that had so viciously attacked earlier – it had only fluttered a few flowers away. Her tail even started wagging as she watched it, her previous fright completely gone from her mind. It was as if the other wolf wasn’t even there; she had totally forgotten that he had startled her. When she finally did look back in that direction, she blinked with confusion, “Where did he come from?” It wasn’t hard to see how she had gotten so lost; it wasn’t as if Belle knew to try and hide her absentmindedness. It wasn’t as if she could even possibly know. Her mind played too many tricks on her for her to see through that haze. Mother would know what to do. Where is she? She left? She left, that’s right. Why did she leave? Why did she make her leave? What did she do to make her leave? Belle’s face clouded with grief; she couldn’t imagine what she could have possibly done to make her family leave, but it must have been terrible. How could she do such a terrible thing and not remember? A high whimper crept from her throat as she sat there, lost in her own thoughts – what had she done? to;; Rostyn muse;; Blah. Don't know where it went ._.; thoughts;; This sucks D: Mostly because of the length. I'm clearly still getting used to Belle x.X words;; 392

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/25zkpwm.png] words • "talking" • thinking Rostyn hadn’t meant to startle the little female. He backed up a little bit, hoping to somehow give the impression that he wasn’t trying to hurt her or upset her. He was about to try and comfort the startled female when she suddenly began to speak. For a moment he was confused; he cocked his head questioningly and tried to make sense of what she was saying. It took him a moment, but by the time she had finished speaking he had managed to figure out that she was talking about herself, and that she was voicing her fears about him. He was still a little confused, though, as he wasn’t sure exactly why she was speaking like that. Could she speak normal at all? He wasn’t sure, so he decided that he might as well try and calm the wolf’s fears to see if he could coax her into speaking more normally. Rostyn’s reaction might have been more intense if it weren’t for the emotional walls that he had guarding his mind. If he wasn’t careful with his emotions and his reactions he could lose control of the grip he had on his magic and the voices would flood his head. He wasn’t exactly interested in being driven mad by the voices, so he was intent on keeping them locked away for as long as was possible. So he was able to lighten his reaction a lot more than other wolves. It took him a moment to decipher her words, but once he was able to, he began to answer as soon as she had fallen silent. “I’m not going to hurt you!” he called out, sounding slight exasperated. He wanted to get his point across right away, so he made his response to her as blunt as possible. “I promise,” he said with a friendly smile. “I have no desire to harm you. Only help you.” His face showed nothing but friendliness, and it would have been hard for him to think ill of anyone who seemed as friendly as himself. He hoped that it would be the same for her, but he doubted that would be the case. She seemed different from most wolves. He had answered her first question that she had directed at him, but after a moment it seemed that she had drifted off. She was looking at the flowers, and when her gaze landed on a butterfly her tails started to wag. Rostyn blinked a couple of times, not sure what was going on. If he hadn’t been confused before, he was now. It was like he no longer existed in her world. And then she turned her head and looked at him, confusion in her eyes as if she didn’t recognize him from only a few moments before. She even voiced her confusion, wondering to herself where he had come from. He cocked his head a second time, wondering how to approach this strange situation. It took a moment to compose himself, and then he tried to answer her. “I’ve…been here the whole time,” he said slowly, wondering if she would remember. “Are you…okay?” He hesitated as he questioned her, not sure she would even be able to answer, or what such a question would do to her. Only time would tell, he supposed, so he waited for an answer. word count;; 554 starring;; rostyn for;; bella muse;; good! comments; rawr!

[belladonna]

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[atrb=background,http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/1117/belletablemid.png] text - "talking" - thinking Belle’s tail wagged hard at his response; he wasn’t going to hurt her, he said so just now, nicely even! But his next words made her pause. Was he angry with her too? She flinched slightly, looking around to see if there was a clear way to leave. Then she was distracted, not even paying attention the male that had essentially vanished from her consciousness. When he looked at her, her tummy did a funny little flip and she tilted her head at him, mimicking his movement as she studied the white male’s features. “I’m Belladonna, but momma calls me...” she paused, trying to remember what she was saying, repeating the statement quietly as she tried to work it out, “Momma calls me Bella,” she finally finished, completely missing the fact that he was asking her if she was alright and instead taking “okay” to be a name. Her eyes sparkled in the light and she stood there, not entirely there but much more lucid than she had been previously. “What’s your um...” she paused again, searching for the word. When she couldn’t find it, she started over, “What do you call yourself?” She missed her mother, she missed the feeling of belonging she had with her family. They took care of her, they kept her safe, and they found her whenever she wandered off. Then they left because of something she had done, but she couldn’t remember what it was. She could never remember. Her eyes wandered back to the butterfly and she smiled. It was so pretty, she wanted to catch it and keep it with her always. The small female’s tail wagged thoughtfully as she looked around some more, taking in the valley, “How did I get here?” she mused out loud, using the proper pronoun once again. It seemed that her mind was as scattered as her attention would indicate, since her speech and mannerisms changed when she seemed more clearheaded, and that probably wasn’t a good sign. Still, if it was hard on him to keep up, she didn’t seem to notice. Sometimes, she could tell something was off, but she didn’t really dwell on that; her mother didn’t let her and even though her mother wasn’t currently there she still listened. She was fine, always fine. Bella’s mouth formed a childish smile as she looked around. The whole area was beautiful, in fact, so beautiful that, “I want to stay,” she blurted out, not even realizing she had done so. It wasn’t meant as any sort of self-invitation, she just didn’t know she had said it. “It’s very nice here.” Her tail wagged and she looked back at her companion, content in their moment. She had no idea how long she had been here, but that was okay; she liked his company and he hadn’t told her to leave yet, so she was perfectly happy to stay a bit longer. A bird of some sort flew overhead and she stared up at it, mouth open in an innocent sort of wonder, “Oh... wow,” she murmured, clearly caught up in watching the creature’s wings beat against the air as it held itself aloft. “I wish I could fly,” she told him, smiling a little sadly. “Momma said I’d be lucky to walk without company. I don’t know what she meant, though. She’ll probably be mad at me; I’m not supposed to go off on my own.” But she left me. She went off without me and left me alone. I don’t understand. I don’t understand... Though she stopped voicing the thoughts without even meaning to, she didn’t stop thinking them; they were almost always there, haunting her. Why had her family left? to;; Rostyn muse;; Pretty good~ thoughts;; Eh, I'm getting there. She's slowly solidifying as a character ^^; words;; 612 (beat you~ xP)

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/25zkpwm.png] words • "talking" • thinking Rostyn was caught off guard when she started introducing herself. He hadn’t asked her name, after all, and she hadn’t answered his his question. A little lost, he waited for her to finish speaking, which took a while since her speech was scattered and it seemed like she kept getting distracted. She was speaking more normally now, even though she was a bit distracted. She was speaking about herself in first person, which was improvement, even if she had skipped or misunderstood his question. Rostyn was amazed by how easily distracted she was, in fact. One moment she was looking at him, speaking to him, and the next moment she was staring at a butterfly and thinking out loud. Her mind wandered so quickly. He doubted that she even realized that she had wandered into a territory, and didn’t feel inclined to even bring that up. It would be better not to upset her by telling her that she was trespassing – if she would even understand what that meant. But, at the same time, he felt some compassion for her. Clearly life was not easy for this young wolf. She was lost and it seemed as though there was something wrong with her head. He had always wanted to take pity on wolves like her that came to him, and a protective feeling entered his mind. Perhaps he could help her in some way, if she would let him. This thought made him decide to offer her a place to stay. He could help her more if she stayed. Though she had been distraught when he had first approached her, Bella’s mood had seemed to change quickly. She seemed more at ease now; more comfortable with her surroundings. He was surprised that it had been so easy to put an end to her fears. One moment she had been afraid of him and the next it seemed as though she was perfectly comfortable around him. Of course, there was no reason for her to be afraid of him, but if she did this with every stranger then she could be in some real danger. That idea made him want to take her in even more than before. Most of what she had said so far had made sense, but when she started talking about flying he was completely lost. Rostyn had no idea what her mother had meant, either, and he wasn’t even sure if he understood what Bella was talking about at this point. He did, however, catch on to her sadness, and he felt sorry for the little creature. Some instinct made him want to help her, and he knew it couldn’t be a motherly instinct since he wasn’t a female. It had to be something else that made him want to reach out to the youngster and take her in. “Well, Bella,” he started, still processing some of what she said in the process. “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Rostyn.” Fearing that it might confuse or upset her, he did not add in that he was the alpha and that he owned this place. He wanted to tell her that later, when she had been comfortable for a longer amount of time. “You’re welcome to stay here if you like. There’s plenty of room, and it’s very beautiful here. You might like it.” He hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should suggest that she join the pack. Deciding against it, he continued. “You could live here with me. I get very lonely sometimes and could use the company.” Remembering her mentioning her mother several times, Rostyn hesitated once more. He wanted to ask her about her family, but he wasn’t sure if that would upset her or not. He felt that it was necessary, however, and so he ventured to ask, but tried to keep it as non-invasive as possible. “Bellla…when was the last time you saw your mother?” Her answer might give him a better idea of what he was dealing with here and just how lost the female really was. He wanted to help her. Therefore, he needed to know more about where she had come from and why she seemed so lost. word count;; 700 (beat that!) starring;; rostyn for;; bella muse;; ick. forced comments; sorry for the crappy post. i'm half dead

[belladonna]

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[atrb=background,http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/1117/belletablemid.png] text - "talking" - thinking The mostly-white female wasn’t waiting for a reaction; she had already gotten distracted with everything else around her and it didn’t bother her a bit that he took his time coming up with his response. In fact, she very nearly wandered off after the bug before realizing that someone was actually here. It took a moment of confusion before she realized they had been talking and she planted her butt and stared at him, actually waiting for him to speak again. “It’s nice to meet you, Rostyn! I’m Bella!” she told him happily, clearly having forgotten that she had already told him her name. “It’s really pretty here, I’d love to stay! Can my momma stay too?” she looked around, brows furrowed, “... Oh. Nevermind.” Her ears drooped and her body slumped to match, “I forgot. Momma left.” His mention of being lonely perked her up a little, though, “I make good company... I think. What’s company again?” Her tail wagged a little and she gave him a somewhat unsure smile, trying very hard to understand what he was saying; she hadn’t actually learned some words, which made communicating even harder sometimes. She didn’t look away because she knew she would get distracted again and she very much wanted this male to like her. He was being nice and she could understand that much, at least. Her tail wagged a bit harder, though her gaze was probably a bit unnerving because of its intensity; she very much wanted to pay attention to what was going on. His question, however, surprised her and she gave a pitiful sort of whimper, “Yesterday? Last week? I... I don’t really know... She left. I haven’t seen her since. Why did she leave? I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? I don’t remember anything that would make her leave. Am I that awful? Why did she leave?” her thoughts circled around that idea and she could feel herself spiraling away from their conversation. Belle could feel her grip on the present slipping away and she sort of slid to the ground, laying down and covering her face, “No, no, no... not now...” Even her voice sounded lost to her own ears, as if it didn’t even belong to her. “She’s not going to come back, I know she isn’t. She doesn’t want you. You did wrong – wrong, wrong, wrong. You did wrong and she doesn’t want you anymore because you are a bad girl. Bad girl for wandering, bad girl for not listening; bad girls don’t get dinner, bad girls don’t get to play. Bad girls sit quietly and listen. Bad girl, bad girl, bad girl. Why would she want you? Who would want you?” Her words were clearly not meant to be spoken out loud, but Belle was clearly lost somewhere inside her head; it wasn’t even obvious that she realized she was speaking. If anything, it was pretty clear that she had no idea her thoughts were coming out of her mouth. Her body language mimicked her tone and the words gave a somewhat hazy but still plenty descriptive picture of what had happened before she and her family had parted ways. Things had certainly not been very good for the clearly troubled female, or she hadn’t interpreted them as such at the very least. Who was to say he wouldn’t chase her off as well? Her mind slipped that thought in and it got jumbled in with the rest; he was going to leave her too, wasn’t he? This stranger didn’t even know her, but she was such a bad, bad girl; why wouldn’t he leave her? Her eyes were closed tightly, trying to block out the bad thoughts. “I’m sorry...” she whimpered, trying her hardest to ignore the words racing through her mind. The apology wasn’t for voicing them, but for the entire episode; she didn’t know exactly what had been happening, but she certainly knew she had done something wrong. She always did something wrong. At this point, the young female couldn’t even bring herself to hope that he wouldn’t mind; the thoughts in her head wouldn’t allow for that. The most she dared hope for was that he would forgive her and even that was unlikely if she listened to her own mind. to;; Rostyn muse;; A little forced at the end. thoughts;; Could be worse xD! words;; 711 (just beat you xD)

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[atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/25zkpwm.png] words • "talking" • thinking Each moment that he spent with the little female – Bella, he reminded himself – made him realize that there was something wrong with her. If he hadn’t known it before, then he certainly knew it now, when she introduced herself a second time and seemed to forget for a moment that her mother was not here. His eyes shone with sympathy for the poor wolf, and for some reason he wanted to take her under his wing more than ever before. This happened to him sometimes, especially with females. He wanted to take care of them and let them be a part of his family. This wasn’t the first time a young female, perhaps still too young to be on her own, had come to his pack, looking for some kind of refuge. ”Well, Bella,” he said, keeping his voice as soothing as possible. ”If you stay here, you and I will be family. I can take care of you if you like. Help you.” Though they were still only strangers and had been able to have only a few minutes of coherent conversation, Rostyn found that he liked the younger female. She was cute in her own way, and Rostyn liked her attitude, even if it changed quite a bit. She was interesting, and she needed some kind of guidance. Her intense gaze made him look at her quizzically, wondering what was going through her head at that moment. She tried to answer his question, and he was patient, knowing that it might be difficult for her. She seemed fragile, and he could already tell that the topic of her mother was one that could upset her easily. He would need to tread carefully if he were to make any progress with her. Her reaction to his question made him watch her more carefully, feeling sorry for her and worried about her at the same time. He wanted to walk up to her and comfort her, but he was afraid that would scare her, since her first reaction to him had been fear. But when she appeared to be having trouble, even sliding to the ground, he took a few instinctual steps forward, as if to move to try and comfort her in some way. ”It’s okay little one – “ he began, but her next words cut him off. At first she spoke normally, but then she began speaking about herself in a different person. He frowned, but let her finish her thoughts. It was clear that they were thoughts, probably not meant to be spoken out loud. He was also aware that she was not entirely there while she was speaking. He did the only thing that he really knew how to do. Not sure that just talking to her would work when she was so obviously caught up in something else, he walked up to her, closing the last bit of distance between them. He didn’t wait to see if that upset her. Instead, he aimed a nudge at her head, hoping to get her attention. He did his best to make sure that he didn’t look threatening at all, not wanting her to run away from him. When he pulled his head away from her (by just a few inches) he spoke softly to her. ”I don’t know about your mama,” he said, his voice soft, but firm and decisive as well. ”But I want you. I like you. I want you to stay here with me.” He didn’t know what else to say to her. That was all he could think of. word count;; 595 starring;; rostyn for;; bella muse;; not too bad comments; hope it's okay.